The Shame of Infidelity is Universal

How Christ Has Imprinted His Moral Code on Every Human Heart

Job 24:15

“The eye of the adulterer waits for the twilight, Saying, ‘No eye will see me.’ And he disguises his face.”

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It was the kisscam seen ‘round the world. At a recent Coldplay concert (they’re still touring?!), Astronomer CEO Andy Byron and HR officer Kristin Cabot were seen embracing when a video of them was projected on the enormous jumbotrons for all concert goers to see. They looked relaxed, serene even, but the moment they realized their secret had been revealed to the masses, they instinctively detangled from one another and hid. None of us knew anything about this couple, but the second they were caught, their expression told the world what they had been engaging in - an adulterous affair. As it turns out, Byron has a wife and children. So does Cabot. Multiple lives have been turned upside down.

It actually surprised me that our “love is love // you do you” culture resonated so deeply with this story, but it certainly did. In the past few days, I’ve seen celebrities share their takes on X, hundreds of both women and men come forward and share their stories of deep pain due to infidelity, and adults write candidly about how their parents similarly hurt one another. The pain of unfaithfulness is, of course, universal. It’s almost as if the Lord, in His infinite wisdom, had a specific plan for marriage, and deviating from that plan only brings about heartache.

What struck observers most about the Coldplay incident wasn't just the alleged infidelity, but the instantaneous response to flee. As I mentioned earlier, Byron and Cabot's body language shifted from comfortable affection to absolute panic, trying desperately to conceal themselves, while people around them laughed (which is an entirely different conversation with other moral implications). Humanity’s relationship with sin and shame is outlined clearly in scripture:

Romans 1:19 tells us that "what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them." Even those who reject God's authority understand intuitively that certain behaviors violate divine order. The conscience, as Romans 2:15 explains, requirments of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness."

While watching the video, my mind immediately revisited two stories from the Bible. I traveled back to the very first instance of shame in human history. Following Adam and Eve's disobedience in the Garden of Eden, Genesis 3:8 tells us that "they heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden." Adam and Eve were obviously aware that God was all-seeing and all-knowing, and yet they were still full of such remorse and shame that they tried to hide from the Almighty.

Later in scripture, King David's adultery with Bathsheba provides a detailed look at how infidelity destroys much more than a marriage. In Second Samuel chapter 11, it’s recounted how David decided not to lead his army in battle, and instead remained in Jerusalem where he spotted Bathsheba bathing on her roof. His instant lust for her led to adultery, deception, and ultimately the murder of Bathsheba's husband Uriah.

However, Different from Adam and Eve, David's initial response wasn't immediate shame—it was attempted concealment (another example of humans foolishly thinking they can hide something from the Creator of the world). When Bathsheba became pregnant, David brought Uriah home from war, hoping he would sleep with his wife and unknowingly claim the child. That plan failed, and David ordered Uriah's death. The king's elaborate cover-up is, in a simplistic explanation, the way your mother told you that lies grow. You have to continue to lie again and again to cover up for the first deceit. The Coldplay couple appeared extremely comfortable in their sin until exposure threatened. Similarly, David enjoyed his secret relationship with Bathsheba, so long as it was between “two consenting adults and no one got hurt.” Both cases bear witness to how adultery operates in darkness, thrives on deception, and grows in secrecy.

With so much confusion in our current day and age as it relates to love, marriage, morality, and God’s plan, the Christian should be able to unequivocally say that scripture's condemnation of adultery isn't an arbitrary moral restriction—it flows from God's design for marriage as a covenant relationship. Genesis 2:24 establishes that "a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." This one-flesh union represents complete unity: emotional, physical, and spiritual. The Word gives zero wiggle room in this discussion, regardless of how the world manages to redefine the covenant.

The seventh commandment, "You shall not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14), protects this sacred union. Further elevated in Matthew 5:27-28, it’s explained that even lustful thoughts violate the heart of marriage. The New Testament consistently presents marriage as a picture of Christ's relationship with the church (Ephesians 5:22-33), making adultery not just a violation of human commitment but a distortion of divine imagery. Which is what all of Satan’s tactics are - taking something pure and ordered by Christ, and turning it inside out. Think of any sin plaguing our culture right now - at the root of that sin and evil is the desecration of something God created and intended for holiness and Christ’s glory.

Marriage was created by the Lord to produce the most intimate human bond. The act of adultery shatters this trust, leaving deep wounds that often never fully heal. As was evidenced this past week in the many articles about the “Coldplay Couple,” adultery rarely affects only the married couple. Children, extended family, and even communities suffer collateral damage. This week’s incident already has people investigating and commenting on Byron's wife's social media (she had to delete it completely), extending the pain to innocent parties - can you imagine the generational destruction this will have on both of their lives, but more importantly, the lives of the children and spouses involved? All for what? Several weeks of carnal pleasure? The truth is that God has written His moral law on human hearts - even those who do not acknowledge Him as their Lord. It’s inside of us. Woven into our DNA as His image bearers.

But, there’s always hope with Christ.

David's story doesn't end with his sin. When he was confronted by the prophet Nathan, David's response was that of immediate repentance: "I have sinned against the Lord" (2 Samuel 12:13). If you go read Psalm 51, you’ll find the words of a man written seeking genuine repentance: He acknowledges his sin, accepts responsibility, and appeals for divine forgiveness.

As most of us know, the consequences of David’s actions were great—His child died, his family was plagued by violence, and his kingdom faced rebellion. BUT God's forgiveness was (and is) complete. David remained king, and his lineage eventually produced Jesus Christ. I often marvel at that fact. God uses the imperfect to bring about His perfect plans.

In a culture that often minimizes the seriousness of adultery, deception, and God’s perfect plan for marriage, the biblical perspective reminds us that faithfulness reflects the divine character of our Lord. The shame we feel when we distort what He has created for good is real because the sin is real, but so is the hope for forgiveness and redemption through God's abounding grace.