Homeschooling through the high school years

Yes, you can do it. And you can do it well!

I’m asked about this topic more than any other regarding homeschooling. Homeschooling in high school can seem daunting, but my hope with this post is to encourage you that it’s not only possible but wonderful! I hope you can have an ongoing conversation with this community - to inspire and help one another. Please share your comments, thoughts, and resources in the comment section or our daily chat threads here on Substack! As always, feel free to email me as well: HereAreTheHeadlines@gmail.com.

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My eldest, at the beginning of her freshman year in 2022

Of note: This post was written toward the end of my daughter’s Sophomore year in high school. She’s now well into her Junior Year and preparing transcripts and test dates for a college application she’s excited to fill out. My advice would absolutely stay the same.

If you asked 100 homeschoolers, “What intimidates you the most about homeschooling?” I can assure you that “high school” would be among the top three for most respondents. I’m not certain why that is because you already have almost a decade under your belt by the time you get to 9th grade (assuming you started when they were younger). It doesn’t matter, though - many parents feel like this magic switch is turned on once their student exits 8th grade, making it impossible for them to learn from a parent, and it’s simply not true.

I promise you can homeschool your high schooler easily, affordably, and effectively!

In many ways, making the leap and ditching “traditional” classrooms is more difficult at the beginning than toward the end. I remember when my eldest was 5.5 years old, I had a 3-year-old, and I was pregnant with our third. I remember being overwhelmed, confused, and much too strict. I expected our home learning environment to mirror a classroom and wanted results on tests and worksheets. I wasn’t sure about the state laws, how we would “socialize” the girls, or what my days would look like. I would often be concerned that I wasn’t teaching them “enough” and that they would fall behind.

Now my oldest is 16, she’s wrapping up her sophomore year in high school in little under seven weeks, and only has about a year's worth of credits left to complete to qualify to graduate under our state laws. I can confidently say that FOR ME homeschooling an 8-year-old is much more physically and mentally taxing than a high schooler. That’s not to say that those younger years weren’t wonderful - they certainly were, and I look forward to repeating them with our new baby - but they were more demanding in certain respects. Why do I feel that way?

#1 Discipline

“Discipline” has become a dirty word in parenting circles, but it must be spoken about. In an age of “gentle parenting” gurus, I want to impress upon you how much of a benefit I have seen from my husband and I remaining consistent with our children and expecting respect from them. I’m sure that some fellow parents and friends thought we were too hard on our girls at certain points. Heck, I know I was from time to time. But I’ll tell you this much…. following through with our children in the realm of discipline (while taxing for the first seven years or so) is very worth that effort. They are such delightful young ladies, and we feel confident and at ease when we are around them and others - the years where I felt like I was always repeating myself or continually putting them on blast are long over. Now we are reaping the immense benefits of faithful instruction, and our children are secure and confident - knowing what we expect from them and that our expectations are born out of love and our desire for them to be considerate, gracious, respectful, and faithful women.

How does this link to homeschooling?

• When you set a foundation (whatever that may be), it will serve you later - in both positive and negative ways. Because we were pretty diligent about enforcing the expectations of “get your work done on time,” “this needs to be done by such and such date,” “you’ll need to complete this task with no grumbling,” and “this subject is important because God created it” our girls have required less follow-up as they’ve grown older. They know what to expect from their father and me. I'm seeing the years of discipline pay off as they are becoming young masters of their own time and responsibilities.

• It’s no mystery that there are consequences if you break our rules. That sounds archaic and devoid of emotional aptitude, but I’ve grown to accept that. Just call me ‘Tiger Mom.’ Our girls know that when they rail against our guidelines, it won’t go well for them. Just like in a classroom, if you disrespect a teacher, you’re busted (well, not so much these days, but you get my meaning.) The girls understand that while our homeschool environment is flexible, it’s not a free-for-all, and they need to rise to the occasion. They’ve had that mindset since the beginning, so a decade in, it’s just second nature, and that makes the high school years much smoother.

#2 Independent Learning Expands

I remember there was a time when I would daily be working with my 10-year-old on math, my 8-year-old on cursive, AND my almost 5-year-old wanting to learn to read. It felt like….a lot. And it was. There were specific concepts each day that I would need to explain, reading that would need to be done, recitation that had to be completed, and meals that needed to be made. Many days, I felt like I was being pulled in 5 directions at once (because I quite literally was.) Of course, I would go to bed most evenings and have an overwhelming sense of accomplishment because I JUST EDUCATED THREE HUMANS! Still, it didn’t remove the fact that I was very needed for many subjects and purposes.

I’m telling you this in case you feel similarly. It can be draining. Amazing, but draining.

I recall the year I could assign my eldest her work for the day, and she could complete it without “needing” me. It was weird at first - I would keep looking over her shoulder and asking, “Need anything?!” but she didn’t. She knew what was expected, and she knew her assignments. She was off to the races, and I was able to give the other girls a bit more time. Soon, we entered the high school phase, and she was in complete charge of her schedule, classes, and routine. Of course, her father and I are there to assist in time management advice, curriculum structure, transcript creation, and research, but she’s the ship's captain in many regards.

A beautiful bonus: she will leave this house after learning to manage a full schedule and all of her other daily responsibilities (something that my husband and I had to adapt to when we were dropped off at college).

As your children age, you’ll find more and more margin in your days, especially if you have equipped them to be independent self-starters. This doesn’t mean there won’t be exceptions (say, in the case of your student having learning challenges and needing personalized care), but for the most part, if you’ve stuck to your guns and trained them all along, they’ll naturally take the reins as they move toward high school. It’s a beautiful thing.

#3 Unique, interest-led experience

What I have found makes homeschooling more enjoyable as the years go on is really leaning into your child’s passions and interests. I have one daughter who started drawing and coloring almost incessantly by the time she was three years old. She has not stopped, and she is now a pretty talented artist. I recognized when she was very young that she was not going to be content sitting in front of a spiral-bound literature book (I mean, not many children are tbh.) She always had art on her mind. To that end, I tried my hardest to incorporate some creative outlet with every subject (even math!)

She focuses each day on creating—playing violin and writing music for the movie she wants to direct one day, writing a book, animating in ADOBE, and watercoloring. Yes, she has to complete specific coursework that she finds unfavorable at times, but what I’ve realized (and impressed upon her often) is that if she wasn’t afforded the freedom of homeschooling, she might never have developed her artistry to the level that she has.

The same will happen to your child if you let it happen. They have innate and unique desires and interests - find out what those are and roll with them! Allow them to infuse their learning with their God-given gifts. It may drive you batty sometimes (my entire house is covered with paper, tubes of paint, and brushes at all times), but it will also bring you immense joy.

Learning and the LOVE of learning will be much more easily acquired if they are experiencing life and academic pursuits through a kaleidoscope of their own creativity.

#4 Room to enjoy and not always instruct

When you spend so much time with your children and the years pass, the closeness and enjoyment you derive from being in their presence, and they in yours will multiply. The drive to meet and exceed expectations becomes much easier when you delight in your children and they in you. You’ve laid the groundwork over the years—now sit back and enjoy some of the rewards.

#5 With age comes less stress

While some of you might just be on the cusp of homeschooling (and therefore, anxiousness is completely normal), many of you are not new to the homeschooling game. As such, look back and think about the things you stressed over the first year or two. Some of those things seem silly, don’t they? The same goes for the “high school” element. As Christians, we are not called to have a stressed and fearful spirit. Yes, educating your child can feel daunting, but we must remember that we are already educating our children all the time. You’re just going to be adding a bit of math and science on top of it. As I get older, I very clearly see that the things that kept me up at night with my eldest don’t even cross my mind with my new baby. Why? Because so few issues are as insurmountable as we make them out to be. The same goes for homeschooling your teen. If nothing else, look at the landscape of education in our country as it stands right now. Children are struggling by EVERY metric in schools (even in many private institutions.) There is not reason to think that you, a loving parent, can’t offer your son or daughter an exceptional experience that will far surpass what the world would offer them. Trust me, it isn’t as difficult as it seems, and as the years roll on, you’ll look back and think, “Man. I wish I wouldn’t have wasted so much time worrying.”

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HOW TO HOMESCHOOL HIGH SCHOOL (the nitty-gritty)

A necessary disclaimer: I am but one homeschooling parent. There are thousands of ways to educate your children, which is why this movement is so wonderful - you can choose what works best for your family, your schedule, your child’s learning challenges, and your interests. There’s no wrong way to do it. The only way you can screw it up is if you a.) push your child so hard that they eventually fall out of love with learning, or b.) let them run wild and never learn respect for you or God’s intention for their life and calling.

It can feel good to see someone else “do” homeschool and decide to copy what they are doing, hoping for a similar outcome, but I want to caution against that. Your child is not their child, and your countenance differs from another parent's. Every situation is unique.

With that said

Below, you’ll find:

• My thoughts on where to begin

• Two awesome booklists

• Your questions answered

• A special discount for our community

• My favorite curriculums and resources

Let’s get started: